“Math is hard. Why do I have to do this? I just can’t get this.”
“Everyone else is faster than me. I look over at the kid next to me and watch him fill out his paper. And then I look at mine and it’s still empty.”
“I don’t care anymore. Why try? I’m just too far behind.”
I hear this from my tutoring students regularly. While they come to me for math and reading help, I came to realized a long time ago that there was a lot more than just math and reading that they were struggling with.
It’s lies. They are believing lies.
Maybe a painful or embarrassing situation they experienced made them feel put down or not good enough. A teacher or classmate said something hurtful that shut them down.
Maybe as parents we said something mean or had body language that showed we didn’t care when we ourselves felt frustrated or stressed. We didn’t mean to but they received it as being annoying or unwanted. Maybe through a divorce they believed the lie that it was their fault. Maybe they feel they have to act up or act out to be seen or heard.
When a student would say, “Math is hard,” I’d ask, “Could that be a lie that you are believing? I know that math feels hard right now, but could it get better? If we keep working together, you keep trying, and don’t give up, do you think math could get easier for you?”
“No way, I’m not believing a lie. Math is hard. When am I ever going to use this in real life?”
That’s when my tutoring became a whole lot more about helping my students break off lies.
What lie are they holding on to?
What is the truth that they should believe instead and how they can shift their mindset so that they began to believe the truth about themselves, about their school work, and what they are capable of?
Mama, there are lies, wrong beliefs, words spoken over your children that need to be (1) acknowledged as lies, (2) broken off meaning no longer agreeing with them, and (3) replaced with truth so that they have a new, renewed right way of thinking.
In this episode, we are going to talk about three lies your children are saying and could be believing and three more lies in our next episode, #17.
I am going to give you tangible tips that you can do and scripts that you can say today to your child to help them to acknowledge it as a lie, (2) break it off, and (3) replace it with truth so that they have a new, renewed right way of thinking which leads to a new way of behaving.
Grab a pen and paper and write down what I suggest so that you have a plan of what to do and what to say.
Then take time to pray over it and ask Holy Spirit for the right timing, the right body language and tone of voice, and a teachable moment so that this will resonate with your child.
Then watch lies fall off and truth win in your child’s heart. We speak this breakthrough out in full belief that Holy Spirit will work in the heart of your child and that truth will stay rooted in their thoughts and in the words they speak going forward.
Lie 1: I can’t sit still. (minute 5:58)
Lie 2: I’m afraid of not doing it right. (minute 11:12)
Lie 3: You’re lazy. (minute 14:19)
Do you see how we can use our words to speak belief and good over our children when they are speaking and believing lies? We can help them to consider, “What is the truth that I should think and speak instead?”
If you find it that your child is not receptive or open to the possibility that they are believing lies, I encourage you to watch the video I made called Tell Me No More Lies.
This video will help your child learn how to spot lies they are telling themselves. I use two lies as examples: “It’s too hard. I can’t do this.” and “I don’t belong.” You can watch the video with them.
I share seven questions your child can ask themselves to break off lies. They’ll learn how to keep truth rooted in their heart and mind so that they act in full confidence and become who they are meant to be.
I bless you, Mama. You give so much to your children. One of the best gifts you can give them is to know how to (1) acknowledge a lie they are believing, (2) how to break it off meaning stop agreeing with it and (3) how to replace it with truth so that they have a new, renewed victorious way of thinking.