How do we deal with arguing children who nit-pick, constantly squabble, and just all around don’t get along?
How do we stop ourselves from getting angry when our kids argue?
How do we transition from being really angry to calming down so that we can give instructions?
The quick fix is to shout, break up the argument, send the kids to their room , or give them a time out. We’ve all tried those options. But that doesn’t bring the lasting results I want in my home which are happy kids who get along and have fun together. I am after some real peace and joy here, aren’t you?
Listen in to this episode of Q&A Thursday as I share some practical suggestions for how to get your kids to stop arguing.
We have covered a lot of ground in this Q&A Thursday, including:
3:44 – Sometimes our children just need a little space, a little time alone. Consider carving out a little alone time each day to help reduce the arguing.
5:09 – Here’s a suggestion of what you can do even before the argument breaks out!
7:09 – When the argument breaks out, and they are shouting or crying or hitting, here’s what you can say once everyone is calm.
8:33 – While you know this, we need to teach our children that they reap what they sow. If they plant seeds of arguing, nit picking, being a bother, or dishonoring, they will reap the same thing.
10:02 – Ultimately, we want to teach our children how to handle arguments and conflicts on their own so that when they grow up, they can handle conflicts with care and respect. Our homes can be a safe place for our children to learn conflict resolution.
11:54 – Deal with the argument and dishonor right away. Make it the culture in your home that when a child hurts a brother or a sister with their words or their actions, don’t let it rest until they make it right. Keep short accounts.
14:54 – Here’s a few suggestions on how to stay calm as you help your children resolve their argument.
18:33 – If you find it challenging to transition from being really angry to calming down to give instructions, consider making a plan. What will you do the next time an argument breaks out in your house? What will you say? How will you respond? Who do you want to be as a mom or as a dad in that moment?
Also check out this episode of @ Home with the KIDS where I share some more tips about helping our kids to stop arguing. It’s an episode you won’t want to miss.
Watch the Video
Now I would love to hear from you.
What part of this episode resonated most and why? What is one thing that you will do this week when your children begin to argue?
Important: Share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Keep your comments positive, as no bad attitudes are allowed here. Nor is judgment or criticism allowed. We are here to cheer each other on in this amazing parenting journey together. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be removed.
It’s important that you hear this:
Step calmly into the argument between your children. We cannot correct our children with the same wrong behavior we’re telling them not to do. If we don’t want them to shout, to argue or to misuse their words to each other, than neither can we.
Your family fights for each other, not against.
With enormous love,