Are you tired of telling your children 100 times to do something before they actually do it? Wish you could stop reminding and nagging them all the time? It’s exhausting!
“How many times do I have to tell you to clean your room? Are you done yet? What’s taking you so long?
“Haven’t I told you already to clean up these Legos? How come they are still all over the floor?”
Mama, you are already doing things by the hundreds! 100 diaper changes. 100 loads of laundry. 100 snacks for your kids who always are hungry. One thing you don’t need to be doing a hundred times is repeating your directions. Stop reminding and nagging your children. Tell them just once.
It’s time to renew your parenting approach. So grab a pen and paper and take notes because here’s how you can say it just once.
Stop what you are doing. Look them in the eyes. Smile. Say their name. Give them one direction.
Say it with honour, edification, and full belief that they will do it right away with a good attitude.
It sounds like:
__Child’s name__, would you please be the first one to put away your school things? – That’ speaking to the child who likes to be first.
__child’s name__, I appreciate your help with dinner by setting the table. That’s speaking to the child who loves to be a helper.
__child’s name__, will you put all of the books back on the shelf? Thank you for doing it with focus. Can you get it done before I’m done with the dishes? Go! That’s speaking to the child who loves a challenge.
Use your Speak Life Badges to award them for listening and following directions right away. You can give them a Speak Life Badge prior to them beginning the work to remind them that they can stay focused. They can use their energy to do great work.
They can wear their Speak Life Badge all day and then save it in their I Am Loved Journal using the badge journal page or on their bulletin board. The badge journal page is available to download for free HERE.
Take the extra minute to acknowledge that they heard you. Ask them to repeat what is expected of them to make sure that they understand what is being asked of them. “Tell me what you are going to do to help Mommy?” “Would you tell me again what you’ll do before our friends get here?”
Teach them to respond to your directions with a “Yes, Mom, I’ll be glad to!” “Yes, Dad, I’ll be glad to!”
You confirm that they heard you because you stopped what you were doing, said their name, looked them in the eyes, smiled, and given them one direction. You confirm that they know what is expected of them. And now they respond with “Yes, Mom, I’ll be glad to!”
Remember that there is no need to shout or nag to get your children to do what you want them to do. When you shout, you go from parent to peer.
You don’t have to raise your voice to get them moving. Just a simple, matter of fact tone that says, “There will be no karate until you do your school work with excellence. And you will pay me the cost of your missed session.”
“I asked you to do your morning chores. There will be no afternoon TV until you can do your chores each morning without being asked.”
Let’s turn this insight into action. How will you stop reminding and nagging your children 100 times to do something? Will you stop what you are doing, look them in the eyes, smile, say their name, and give them one direction? Will you ask them to repeat your directions to get confirmation that they understand what’s being asked of them? Will you check back to make sure that they are keeping their focus and getting the job done?
Tell me how else you stop reminding and nagging your children? Tell me by leaving a comment below or by sending a voice message using the recording feature found one the main page of speaklifebadges.com. I’d love to hear from you.
I bless you, Mama. All that you put your hands to do….including helping your children to listen right away, the first time you ask, even if it takes extra training at first, will pay off. And you will be so proud of your children as they grow into young men and women who listen first and follow through and do it… even going the extra mile to do it even better than you asked. I speak that out over your children today.