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Use Words to Describe Your Life or to Change It

smiling woman holding up a speech bubble sign encouraging mothers to not use words to describe your life but  to use words to change it, positive parenting solutions, parent coaching, Renewed Mama Coaching

Hey there, Mama.  I want to challenge you today to stop using your words to describe your life and to start using your words to change it.

You think 60,000 thoughts every day consciously and unconsciously from the moment you wake up to when you finally drift off to sleep.  Those words are telling you a story and describing your life.


Maybe your words are:

-> I am tired.  I have so much to do.

-> I am so behind.  I should have done that yesterday.  This has been on my to-do list for three weeks now.

-> This is more than I can handle.  This is too much.  I don’t know what to do anymore for this kid. 

-> I don’t have time for another temper tantrum.  Not another stomach bug. 

-> Stop calling, “Mommy!”  If I hear “Mommy!” one more time I’m just going to scream. But I don’t want to scream any more.  I don’t like it when I shout but they don’t listen unless I shout.

-> I really should play with the kids more.  I need to be a more fun mom.

-> I think Johnny is really behind in his reading.  I probably should get him a tutor.

Whoo!  Am I right?  Is that the tape replaying in your mind every day?  It’s OK to raise your hand, Mama, if one or all of those replay in your mind because they do in my mind, too.


All of these words describe your life.  But I want to challenge you to use your words to change your life. 

That is, unless you are completely satisfied with your life and how you are as a Mama and there is no area in which you need to improve. 

Maybe you have motherhood all under control.  You always show up, 24/7, as the best Mama you can be, and you never shout at your kids. If that’s you, I want to talk to you!  And learn from you!  Please leave me a comment below!

But if you are a Mama like me who loves being a Mama but doesn’t always get it right; who wants more time with her kids AND sneaks away to my office for quiet alone time, too; who can be laughing and playing with the kids one moment and the next moment, frustrated, annoyed, and barking orders, then it’s vital that we take inventory of what’s replaying in our mind and ask ourselves, “How can I use my words to change my life and to grow instead of just staying the same Mama I was yesterday?



Let’s start with “I’m tired.  I am always tired.”  That story replays in your mind.

While this may be true because you are nursing a baby in the night, you were up with a sick child, you are balancing a job and homeschooling, or running the children to all the activities, choose words that speak health, life, strength, and energy over your mind and body

Say, “I am full of energy.  I am stronger today than I was yesterday.  I am grateful that I can work and homeschool the kids.  I didn’t get a chance to do all of these activities when I was a kid.  I love watching them have fun.  I know that laying my head on my pillow tonight will feel amazing.”

Doesn’t that sound more hopeful and strengthening than “I’m so tired”?

And Mama, you know I’m going to encourage you to evaluate your recent choices of food, sleep, exercise, stress, busyness, and recommit to your health and sleep.


“I am so behind.  I should have done that yesterday.  This has been on my to-do list for three weeks now.”

“This is more than I can handle.  This is too much.” 

Instead say, “Time is on my side.  There is time for the most important things I need to do today.” 

“God give me wisdom to choose what actually needs to be done today.  Help me to prioritize well.  Then give me help and strength to do it, and grace to let go of the rest of the things for another time.” 

“It always get done somehow.  God’s got this.  And if there is anything I can let go of.  It’s a nice idea but not the right time for it, I give myself permission to let it go.”

“Who can I ask for help?  How can I get the kids or my husband to lend me a helping hand?”


Instead, breathe and say to yourself, “Breathe.  It’s not really them calling for you, ‘Mommy!’ so much that’s driving you crazy.  It’s everything else you are trying to do or juggle all at once that feels like it’s too much.  Don’t take it out on them.  They just love you and want your heart.  To know that you are near and available.”

Say, “I am a good Mommy.  I am patient and gracious.  I am capable.  It feels so good to be wanted.”

Do you feel the life and hope and renewed purpose the change in your words brings?

Let’s do one more.


I need to be a more fun mom.

Say, “I am a fun mom.  I am a cool mom.  I’m fun to be around.  I like myself when I’m with my kids.”

Then carve out time to play with your kids.  Make an appointment just like you do a play date with friends or a dentist appointment.  And then keep it. 

I schedule board game time.  I block out school time and story reading time and admittedly have to force myself sometimes to keep it because lots of other things pull for my attention. 

Schedule walks.  Tell yourself, “It’s time to laugh and play and look my children in the eyes.  The dishes, the dirty toilets can wait a little bit longer.  They will get done.”

a mother looking through a book


Mama.  I want for you to stop using your words to describe your life and to start using your words to change it. Because your words are powerful.  You are living the life you are because of the words and the thoughts and the beliefs you repeat again and again.

Your thoughts and your words are the most powerful thing you have.  Everything you do and the results you create are all because of your thoughts and your words.


I’m here for you, Mama.  If you can’t see past what you walking through or experiencing each day to change your words to better ones, I can help. I understand.  Sometimes we can’t see beyond what we are struggling with.

It’s like you are on your tip toes, trying to see over the wall you have built with your thoughts and your words on repeat.  You didn’t even realize you were building a wall of negativity, judgment, self-doubt, lies, defeat, not good enough.  

I can help you through parent coaching called Renewed Mama Coaching.

Inside Renewed Mama Coaching, we will hop on coaching chats together and talk through your specific frustrations, what you’ve already tried that isn’t working, and what you can try instead.  We’ll go fruit to root together and help you to think right, to speak right, and to respond right.

You don’t have to do it alone.  It is so much better working through it together. Go to and get coached today.


If you know another Mama who needs this encouragement, too because you know what she is saying to herself isn’t so nice, share the love by sending her the link to this episode.  Let’s help each other push play to a new renewed kind of tape. 

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