Do your kids hate to stop playing video games or don’t want to turn off the TV when you tell them to? Catch them groaning when you ask them to unload the dishwasher? Do they pass by the veggies or hate reading or math because it’s really hard for them? Have they ever said I hate you? Do they hate being told what to do or not doing things on their own especially if they are two or three years old or strong-willed? Perhaps they hate feeling misunderstood or unheard. Do they resist time deadlines like getting out the door on time for school? Or do they resist chores?
Are you throwing up your hands thinking, “Help! My kids hate all these things!”? Here are ten things your kids hate and how you can renew your thoughts, words, and responses around those things that your kids hate.
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HELP! MY KIDS HATE WHEN VIDEO GAME TIME ENDS
Could your kids play video games all day if you let them? When you tell them to stop playing a video game or to turn off the TV, do they groan or ignore your call?
Tip #1: Pregame them with a warning, “You have five more minutes of video game time.” This warning gives them the heads up that it’s soon time to stop playing the video game or to turn off the TV. Go a step further in your warning by saying, “When it’s time to turn off your video game, how will you respond?” Let them answer with the plan as to how they will respond: “I will turn it off, Mom.”
Encourage your children to follow directions the first time you ask. Give them the Speak Life Badge that says I follow directions.
Tip 2: Set a timer. When the timer rings, that means it’s time to wrap up their game and to turn it off. Give them a verbal warning when you see the timer get down to five minutes left.
Tip 3: Relate to them by saying, “I know how you love to play this game, and I know that when it’s time to turn it off you’re going to say, Do I have to? Can I just have ten more minutes? But it will be time to turn it off and you can look forward to playing it again tomorrow. Okay?”
Tell me in the comments what works for you and your children around ending video game time or movie time.
HELP! MY KIDS HATE EATING VEGGIES
Do your kids hate eating their veggies?
Tip #1: Make veggies a part of each meal and talk to your children about making wise choices for their body. Food is fuel for their body and brain. Food gives them energy to play, run, dance, sing, or whatever it is that they like to do. Tell them that they need veggies to play video games.
Good food is like the diesel that I put in our diesel truck. If I go to the gas station and put unleaded gas in my diesel truck, it won’t keep running. I’ll be stuck on the side of the road.
Tip #2: Keep highly processed, sugar, and red dye-rich foods out of the house. Just don’t even buy them. Shop the perimeter of the grocery store filling your cart with veggies, meat, and dairy. This will help you choose the best foods for your family and get your children eating their veggies.
Give your children the Speak Life Badge that says I am wise because they make wise choices for their body. You can also give them the sticker award that says I choose right.
Learn more about helping your whole family to eat well and stay healthy:
Win the Sugar Addiction Battle with Special Guest Rachel Murray – Renewed Mama Podcast Episode 117
HELP! MY KIDS HATE READING AND MATH
Do you have a child who hates reading and math? It is real for children to say that reading and math is too hard. Sometimes our children are wired for the arts and maybe don’t quite have the math brain, and then others love math and reading is hard. How our brain works and how your child’s brain works is an amazing thing. I know that your child can succeed at reading and math. We just get to help them get there. And it can be fun along the way. It doesn’t have to be a lot of tears.
Tip #1: If your child is saying it’s too hard, watch the video called Tell Me No More Lies. This video and coloring page will guide your children through breaking the lie It’s too hard with the truth that Hard can still mean doable.
Tip #2: Reach out if you want extra ideas or ways to support your child if they are struggling with reading and math. In thirty minutes, I can give you suggestions specific to your child. Go to Renewed Mama Coaching to book a session. If you are looking for a tutor, I am here to help your children believe and know that they can do it.
Remember the Speak Life Badges sticker awards to encourage and motivate your children: I am smart, I am a great reader and I can do math. Charlotte was given the I am a great reader badge and said no one else had made her feel so happy about her reading before.
Learn more about helping your children with reading and math by listening to these Renewed Mama episodes:
Is Math Actually Too Hard – Renewed Mama Podcast Episode 34
Motivating Your Child When It’s Too Hard – Renewed Mama Podcast Episode 29
HELP! MY KIDS HATE ME
Has your child ever said I hate you? When they say, I hate you, I give you permission to not believe them. Is it that they really hate you or are they saying I hate this moment? I hate this feeling I have right now. I can’t control this situation. This grade that I got makes me so angry and I hate that I struggle with math. That’s what they’re saying.
It’s not an attack on you. It’s not that they really hate you. Something’s going on inside that’s making them feel out of control, unsafe, overwhelmed, or uncertain. It just comes out as an I hate you especially if your child is strong-willed.
Tip #1: Relate to them by saying, “It’s okay if you don’t like me right now. I know it stinks that this math is hard. I know it stinks that you can’t sleep in. We rush out the door to go to school. I know it stinks that we have to turn off the TV right now.” Then go on to encourage them.
Your children love you, and I know that you love your children or you wouldn’t still be reading this blog.
HELP! MY KIDS HATE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO
Do your kids hate being told what to do? Do they hate not being able to do things on their own? Your children are finding their way and learning how to do things on their own. They are discovering what they can and can’t do. As they try to find their voice, confidence, and self-esteem, you get to encourage them and build them up within guidelines because we need to keep them safe. We want to see them succeed.
Tip #1: Invite them to give their opinion about what they think you should do. Ask, “What should we do here? What do you think is the best thing for us to do about this situation? How should we solve this?”
Get them to offer and contribute their thoughts. At the end of the day, you make the final decision, but asking for their opinion and input tells them that they matter. They have something to contribute to the family. This helps them learn that you work together as a team.
Tip #2: When you have strong-willed children or they are three or four years old, and they want to do it their way, teach them that there’s mommy’s way or daddy’s way and then their way. Mommy’s way teaches your child how to do it correctly, in a way that keeps him safe, or in a way where he’ll succeed.
EXPECT THEM TO FOLLOW YOUR DIRECTIONS
Teach in threes, first watching mommy’s way or daddy’s way where mommy or daddy demonstrates how to do it correctly. Second, do it together guiding them. Third is their way where they get to do it and mommy or daddy watches. You continue to guide them or keep watch until they confidently can do it on their own.
For this to be successful, pre-game them or explain what’s coming next so they know. Tell them, “It’s mommy’s turn now. Soon it will be your way.
Give your children the Speak Life Badges I obey right away or I obey with joy. The reality is we need our children to do what they are told for their safety and success. We need our children to follow directions the first time we ask.
When they are trying to do things on their own, use the sticker badges that say I am strong, I am successful, I am committed, I am patient. How powerful is it for them to stay patient with themselves as they are learning to do things on their own? To stay patient as they watch mommy do it first, mommy’s way, and then they can try doing it their way.
Learn more about motivating your children when they don’t want to do it.
Motivating Your Child When They Don’t Want to Do It – Renewed Mama Podcast Episode 32
HELP! MY KIDS STRUGGLE WITH ARTICULATING HOW THEY FEEL
Do your children struggle with articulating how they feel? Feelings are important. We want to listen and give space for children to share their feelings and emotions in whatever way they can articulate them at their age. While we don’t act or respond based on feelings, it’s important to tune into them.
A great resource is the Core Emotion Wheel from Connection Codes. Scientifically, our body and brain can relate to eight core emotions. These emotions are joy, anger, shame, guilt, fear, lonely, sad, and hurt.
When we lead with the emotion we are feeling, we help our children relate to how we are feeling. For example, we have all been afraid or felt fear. If we say, “I felt fear when I couldn’t find you. I didn’t know where you went. You didn’t tell me that you were going to the swings on the playground. I looked all around and I couldn’t find you. I felt fear.” Your child can relate to that.
Another example of leading with emotion is saying, “I feel so much joy when you tell me all about your video games. I have some veggies to chop. How about I chop veggies while you tell me all about your video game?”
Learn more about Connection Codes and the Core Emotion Wheel with this Renewed Mama Podcast:
HELP! MY KIDS STRUGGLE WITH ARTICULATING WHAT THEY WANT
Do your children struggle with articulating what they want?
Tip #1: Use sign language to help them communicate. We used sign language to help our children express whether they wanted a drink, were thirsty, wanted milk, went poo, or wanted more. Teaching them sign language took away most temper tantrums and frustration of not knowing what they wanted or needed.
Tip #2: As they get older, say, “Let’s try that again, this time using words to tell me what you want.” Give them an example of what they can say next time. Stay patient and calm. Hold them close, listening, trying to understand what it is that they want or need.
Give them the Speak Life Badges I am special and I am loved to help them know that you love them and are there for them even with big emotions.
HELP! MY KIDS HATE FEELING MISUNDERSTOOD OR UNHEARD
Do your children hate feeling misunderstood or unheard? What might we do, what facial expressions we make, or how we respond that make our children feel misunderstood or unheard? Doing two things at once. Walking away while they are talking to us. Having our phone or laptop in our hands tells them that Mom’s not listening to me. Perhaps we interrupt and not let them talk. Maybe we think we already know what they’re going to say so we interrupt them.
Tip #1: Slow down. Stop what you are doing, look them in the eyes, smile, nod, and listen. Our children want connection. They are hungry for connection. They don’t always know how to ask for it, especially teenagers. Go up to their bedrooms, lounge on their bed, and ask them, “How’s your day going? How was hockey practice? How’s your life? Is there anything that I can do for you? I’m here for you if you need to talk anytime.”
Take initiative to make connections. Give them Speak Life Badges sticker award that say I am extraordinary and I am priceless.
HELP! MY KIDS HATE TIME AND DEADLINES
Do your kids hate time deadlines that have them rushing out the door? Rushing off to school or sports? Kids live the days and the moments not knowing what day it is or what time they need to leave for a sports event or birthday party.
Tip #1: Help your children with deadlines by relate with them. Say, “I know it stinks that we need to rush off to school. Wouldn’t it be so nice if we could still be in our beds sleeping? But today is going to be a great day. Best day ever. Let’s get moving. Let’s get out the door.”
Emphaticizing with them, saying “I remember a time when,” helps build connection. Together, you are on the same page moving forward together as a team in getting out the door together on time.
Tip #2: Give them Speak Life Badges sticker awards that say, I used time wisely or I stayed faithful to the task.
Remember that if you want to encourage your children in using their time wisely, in staying faithful to tasks, being a helper, sharing, overcoming fear, honoring others, choosing joy even when things don’t go their way, and more life lessons, Austin the Hedgehog has mailbox surprises for your children in his mailbox subscription called Austin’s Kids Club. The postcards and crafts get them off their screens and growing in character. Austin’s Kids Club is a gift that keeps giving each month for a whole year. It is a great birthday or Christmas gift.
HELP! MY KIDS HATE CHORES
Don’t we love it when our kids are helpers? Now that my children are older, it brings me so much joy when they lend a helping hand. We work as a team together to take care of our home. No one person should shoulder all of the household responsibilities.
Chores or responsibilities that come with age can be a sticky point for older kids. They see their younger siblings not doing chores or getting away with not doing their chores. Because they are older, we rely on them to get it done and to get it done well with excellence.
Tip #1: Encourage them with Speak Life Badges sticker awards that say I am a helper, I work with excellence, or I choose joy. Tell them, We can find a lot of joy in doing the work and doing a good job at it. There’s joy that can be found when our room is clean.
Tip #2: Your children are watching and listening. What are you saying out loud about your chores or the housework that you need to do? Do you complain or take your overwhelm out on them especially when it’s late and there’s still all of the dinner dishes to clean up? They follow your example.
KEEPING THE RIGHT FOCUS ON THINGS YOUR KIDS HATE
Let’s choose the right focus on the things your children hate. As a kid, I could not stand tomatoes. I liked tomato soup because I could dip my grilled cheese in it. And I liked chili. But I couldn’t stand eating a raw tomato on a sandwich. Today, I love tomatoes. I eat cherry tomatoes fresh out of the garden.
What your children hate now, they may grow to love. They may thrive in it, excel in it, or turn it into a career or business. Remember that as you help your children work through the things that they hate, you train them for the present moment where they really have to unload the dishwasher or stop playing their video game. And you train them for their future and who they will grow to become. Speak life and belief of who you know they can grow to become. Speak words of life over them in these areas that they hate, throw a fit about, or just don’t want to do.
HELP SPEAKING LIFE
If you want help speaking life to your children, renewing your thoughts and your words and your responses for yourself or your parenting, I am here for you. Maybe you are struggling in these ten things your kids hate. You are tired of everything turning into an argument or a temper tantrum. Go ahead and try to figure it out on your own, but if you are anything like myself, I tried and tried to change things in my parenting and I still stayed stuck until I got help. There was a time when I paid $2,000 for one month of coaching because I was stuck. I said, “Please just fix it. I’ve tried everything and I don’t know what to do anymore.
When you are at that place where you feel stuck and you say, “Please, just fix it. I don’t know how to communicate with this child.” Maybe you didn’t hear words of life or honor spoken in your home as a kid. Maybe you don’t know how to change that for you house. I am here for you. If you need help in any area of your life, I am here for you to renew your thoughts, words, and responses, and to speak life. Go to Renewed Mama Coaching and let’s get together and help you to speak life, to win at parenting, and motherhood.
